Poorly Written Promotional Copy Makes Me Sad

Here is a bit of advertising copy I came across on a local website today.

Invites You For An Exclusive Peek At The City’s New Social Mecca.
We Have Been Working Hard To Compile Some Crucial Elements And Stunning Visuals From The World Of Fashion And Nightlife So We Thought To Ourselves – What A Great Feeling, Why Not Make It A Party? This Is What We Came Up With…
Beautiful Energy, Obvious Love, Unique Appeal.

Gawk Imperviously At Our Technology And Play Nice With Your Neighnours

Come Casually Cosmopolitan

Does this copy make you want to go to this “Social Mecca”? It makes me sad that a business would pay good money for a flashy-looking website, but not pay very careful attention to the words placed there.

Yikes! This copy need some emergency care! For starters:

  1. Capitalization gone amok
  2. Typo
  3. Questionable word choices. What is “Gawk Imperviously” trying to mean?

Rewrite!

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